The other day I was pondering my
need for repentance, and I began to understand what it means to be saved from our sins, and not in our sins. I realized that I if I want
peace I need to leave my sins! As I pondered that need for change, I found some
unpleasant feelings about leaving my sins and vices behind.
Let me give a little background to
this post though. From my study of the scriptures and experiences on my
mission, I’d experienced a constant peace amidst trial that seemed to surpass
all understanding. When I came home, through the bumps of life, I lost the
constant peace. I tried to get it back, but it was as elusive as smoke through
my fingers. It would only last for a few days, sometimes a few months, but it
never lasted.
At the time of this epiphany I
realized that I wanted Christ’s peace, but I wanted the sinners lifestyle. I
selfishly wanted peace. I was resisting the changes I’d been praying for, and
everything was becoming clear in this moment. The moment of truth, literally,
where I’d finally understand what Christ was commanding me to do.
“Come follow me.”
Christ was inviting me to leave my
sinner’s lifestyle of selfishness and live a life of selfless service in
everything I do. This time, I won’t turn away. I’m going to commit, and I’m
going to live it. This was the whole message that Jesus Christ repeated to
Peter “feed my sheep” and “come follow me.” So that is what i'm going to do. If i make a few mistakes along the way
I feel like a seed has been planted
in my heart, the seed of service, and it is now my duty to serve so that my
seed will grow. So if you’ve got any service opportunities let me know. I’m
very interested in serving where I can.
That is good awareness!
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